Whether a therapist, social worker, or counselor, you’ve suffered that imposter feeling.
Many professionals do. But for you, failing has a significant consequence. You’re supposed to be the expert at mental health. But no matter what you do, you feel like the person across from you is never, ever, going to get better.
Think of your roster of clients or patients: He is addicted to therapy and getting better would defeat his game. She expects you to do something but does not follow through with direction. You have that percentage of those you serve who fail to disclose and conceal vital information. And worse, by the time you establish rapport, their insurance or interest in therapy dries up. Or their faith in you evaporates.
Yeah. Patients believe therapy is akin to taking medicine - or repeating a mantra - and all the pain will go away! They want that miracle pill - but you and I know that true healing takes work. And the patient is the one that must undertake that work.
And when you lose your optimism, when you lose faith in yourself and in your patient, the therapy is doomed.
I wish it was humorous. It’s not. We know it’s not. You chose this profession to help people. To make the world a better place. And you’re wondering why you didn’t become a florist….
Your client’s brain can and will deceive her throughout the attempted healing process - no matter what you know or try. You need a system to bypass those brain protective responses. And you spend so much time building rapport so the client will learn to trust you - and stop withholding or dripping lies all over you - that you feel as frustrated as the client!
And you're running in quicksand to nowhere, taking little wins where you can.
Is any of this familiar?
- You’re not listening.
- I can’t handle it. You need to help me.
- I’m not ready, willing to talk about that. I don’t trust you. I don’t know you.
- Therapy doesn’t work on me.
- That’s not my husband’s name. That’s my ex-husband. Aren’t you listening?
- Tell me what to do.
- This entire process is boring.
- Why isn’t this working?
- Can’t you just prescribe something?
- Those aren’t my issues - they must be yours.
- You’re not giving me the answer.
- You’re not very good at this.
- I'm not angry. I’m You don’t understand shit.
- How does that make me feel? Do you have anything else to ask me? You ask that over and over…
According to the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 20% of patients drop out of therapy before completing treatment. But the research and I didn’t need to tell you that. You know that feeling of trying and failing. And you know the number of clients who don’t return. And it’s not like you don’t know why. You sense the lack of rapport and trust. You hear the client’s lies or sense the client withholding vital information. You try to get the client to appreciate the degree of commitment required for their own mental health and healing - and you try to clear up unreasonable assumptions and handle frustration. You set goals. You provide direction and set expectations for the end of treatment.
You’re the expert, right? You educate. You listen. You ask the right questions.
And you feel sick every time you utter: I’ll see you next week.
Will you? Will you see him next week? Will she show up?
Let me tell you, like many BREAK Method students, I tried all the pathways to mental health. Meditation and retreats. Workshops and yoga. Coaching and reading every self-help book on the shelves. And therapy. Four therapists suffered my bullshit over the years. I succeeded in making the first one cry. I say succeeded because she assumed I was a polite professional - and not an angry woman full of rage and fear that she might find out my dirty little secrets…. She never established rapport with me. And never understood what she was facing. The second and fourth also never established rapport, so I was never able to comfortably disclose my experience. I fed both of them what they expected to hear. Therapy stalled. I know you’re not surprised! The third? She was amazing, effective, and had me using CBT. I started sensing I could feel better. So, I became far too busy to schedule any sessions.
Or, consider an acquaintance - who has been going to therapy for over six years, yet complains she’s making no progress. Of course she’s not: She’s disclosed no part of the abuse she suffered as a child! And, frankly, she enjoys the boast of she’s in therapy and working on her issues. All while overeating, experiencing night terrors, catastrophizing, and shifting her locus of control to others. She’s recently finished another self-help book which she loaned to another woman in our circle. That’s progress!
The fact is: You must bypass the brain’s inherent protective reflexes to uncover the pattern that operates beneath the surface.
The pattern that gets stronger - and fights harder - the better you are as a therapist or counselor!
I don’t need to tell you that every time your client or patient is about to have that breakthrough, he finds some route to sabotage the treatment.
What if you could eliminate each of those roadblocks and make measurable, sustained progress with your clients?
BREAK METHOD has the solutions you need to be a rockstar counselor! Last month, the National Association of Social Workers certified the BREAK METHOD Program. (link to PR release) And we’re now offering the BREAK METHOD Practitioner Certification - a powerful training program to help you build efficient client containers with clear direction and sustainable results.
First, the program helps clarify the roles for the client - that progress is in his or her control. We will train you to use a firm process, with a solid timeline and systematic assessments so your client experiences actual results within 16 weeks. You will provide sequenced assignments to keep your client engaged and experiencing success. And the program includes built-in fail-safes to catch deception. Establish rapport quickly - and no more guessing or never-ending questions!
You will defeat your client’s self-sabotage and combat every excuse or display of learned helplessness.
Whether you work with individuals, families, couples - BREAK Method can help you succeed. No more imposter syndrome.
(And if you’re in therapy and feel frustrated, share this post with your therapist. Or take radical personal responsibility and sign up for BREAK Method Brain Pattern Assessment.)