Parent Your Inner Child: Time for Tough Love and A Time Out

Parent Your Inner Child: Time for Tough Love and A Time Out

Take three minutes. Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted, close your eyes, and recall your childhood.

For many (most) of us, our childhood memories are bifurcated into moments of wonder and incidents of pain.

The magic of childhood.

And the source of adult angst.

The concept of the wounded child or inner child is commonly understood to be the childhood part of one’s personality where painful incidents and trauma remain encoded and affect the adult. The struggling adult - with relationship issues, addictions, anger issues, depressive episodes, eating disorders - finds the key to the struggle in tender-age experiences.

For those of us who have attended a Break Method lecture or completed Break Method, we are familiar with the metaphorical concept of the inner child as the Pu. The School of Sustainable Self-Mastery and Break Method founder, Bizzie Gold, often talks about this Daoist (Taoist) Chinese concept of the Pu, defined as the uncarved block of wood with inherent potential.

The Pu has no thought and has no identity other than being uncarved, pure, and untouched. Akin to Pu, a child comes into the world infused with spirit, innocent, and with unbounded curiosity. The child loves unconditionally, trusts immediately, and embraces experiences with openness and enthusiasm. The child has NO CONTEXT for experiences (positive or negative), and has NO EXPERIENCES to compare or contrast situations.

So, what an adult onlooker would or could see as minor or insignificant could be major, highly significant, and negatively imprint on that pu-innocent being. In fact, ANY experience that is not one of innocence, curiosity, or love becomes fodder for subconscious patterning.

Yet, popular psychological approaches make 2 mistakes when uncovering and healing childhood traumatic programming:


Popular approaches target major incidents: parents divorcing, an incident of violence, a life-threatening illness… And often, modern therapeutic approaches will focus on understanding and healing these moments.

Yet, the core incidents that underpin your subconscious brain patterns are never these major explosive incidents. The underpinnings are intentional and accidental (or passive) repetitive experiences.

The important incidents to examine are those that caused the child to misunderstand, misinterpret… and experience fear, confusion, and pain.

  • Repetitive life experiences - like being hungry or being ignored or being negated. Dad and grandpa and uncles never took a day off and worked through illness and injury. Women were to stay silent during religious conversations.

  • Moments causing gaps of understanding - like adults not articulating or keeping secrets - leaving a child with unanswered questions. Incidents where adults were hypocrites - saying one thing but acting another way.

    In any of these cases, the child’s brain MAKES A CONCLUSION TO KEEP THAT CHILD SAFE.

Here’s an example:

Five-year-old Vivian throws up every night for weeks and her parents take her to the family physician who recommends a hospital stay. Vivian is frightened and has to stay at the hospital alone - and away from her family. Your typical therapy would focus on her fear at the moment as the target incident: the illness, the physical pain, the strange tests, the scary hospital equipment…

And, yes, all those things frighten Vivian, the child-pu innocent.

But that incident is NOT the key to Vivian’s adult struggles.

The fact that Mommy said she would come and then didn’t… to the hospital, to the school play, to the graduation, to the park… Ah…there’s the fodder for Vivian’s distrust of others.


Popular approaches involve loving this wounded child - not rewiring his or her misguided solutions!

Popular advice - including that from professional counsellors - involves healing that inner child. I’ve heard everything from creating a conversation between the adult and child self - to physically hugging oneself as a means to heal the child within. You can acknowledge that inner child. You can listen to what your inner child would tell you - the stories of anger, abandonment, rejection, insecurity, self-loathing, vulnerability… You can write a letter to your inner child asking what he or she needs. You can allow your inner child to journal. Or you can participate in activities your child-self was denied - or enjoyed.

Poor Vivian! Let’s talk to that scared little girl in the hospital. Let’s bring her coloring books and hold her hand. Let’s hug her. Tell her she’s loved.

Well. That’s a route to remain a victim.

That approach does not alter or eliminate the unconscious patterns the inner child brain adopted as the only route to safety.

So, the popular advice ensures you provide your unconscious patterns with poor-you sympathy and tears and attention.

And you continue to self-sabotage, live your chaos, and wonder why you “can’t” change.


As a Break Method student, you will locate and target these seemingly minor incidents that underpin your subconscious brain patterns.

See… the tough part is these incidents are like ninja computer viruses - hard to detect and very dangerous. They also have defense mechanisms that ensure they remain undiscovered.

This is why Break Method is so successful - for over 3,000+ people! Using a tested, validated approach, Break gets around the defenses and roots out the roots of your anxiety, your self-sabotage, your low-self-esteem, your distrust of others and difficult relationships…

And YOU can start today to REWIRE and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE.

Take The Break Method Quiz.

Learn if Break Method is a good fit for you. It’s FREE. It takes 5 minutes.

And you can decide your next steps. Typically, those new to Break Method take the Break Method Brain Pattern Assessment.

Break Method’s streamlined and effective approach to RAPIDLY rewiring your behavioral responses. STOP negative thought patterns. TODAY. And FOR GOOD.

You get:

·      2 foundational videos with workbook exercises

·      A Zoom session with a Certified Behavior Strategist who will complete your assessment

·      A PDF report with your 8-part Pattern Hypothesis

·      Understand How You Developed These Unhealthy Patterns


Stop babying your inner child. It’s time to be the adult and find out what that little one - in it’s pu state - misunderstood.

You’ve found Break Method: Disembark from the pain train and take the route to health, wellness, and success!


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